I was brought up in the 70’s by a very conservative mum who took her job as a wife, mother and women seriously. Her beliefs were that she was here to serve my father, making him dinner, cleaning the house, washing and ironing his clothes, setting his clothes out on the bed, and being there for his every need. As a mother my mum believed a good mum was a stay at home mum, there to nuture, love and look after her children with home cooking, making all our clothes, driving us to our sporting games, there on hand whenever or wherever we needed her. As a woman she believed that this is what you did to have a happy, healthy home. I never remember my mum once giving time to herself.
Fast forward 44 years and here I am, a product of my upbringing. Trouble is, I did not want to serve my husbands every need (he was big enough and ugly enough to pick his own clothes out to wear each day), I did not want to be a stay at home mum . I loved and adored my kids but I also wanted a career, time to further my passions and dreams. As a woman I wanted me time, time to discover and enjoy my interests including looking after my health. It was so difficult for me to honour my beliefs because I was engrained with a completely different set of beliefs that did not include career or me time.
Learning to be truly o.k. with what I wanted in life and losing the guilt that I have not lived up to my mothers beliefs and ideals has been such a freeing experience. To learn that I am an adult and it is ok to have my own beliefs and values and that because my beliefs were different to my mums did not make me a bad wife, a terrible mother and a selfish women has been such an important and essential lesson in my life.
I now feel free (without the guilt) to give myself time each day to put toward looking after my health, my wellbeing, knowing that it makes me a much happier person and is reflected in my marriage, children and home. Choosing to put quality time into my children and husband rather than quantity has deepened and strengthened all my relationships. The time I do spend with the family is now special.
I wanted to share this really personal blog with my readers because I know there must be many other woman out there around my age who were brought up in an era where most mums stayed at home and then as we grew up were suddenly right in the middle of women’s rights movement where we could make choices which included having a career and children.
My wish for all my readers is that you are free of guilt and live your life just the way you are wanting to, not what is expected of you! I would love to hear from you and your experience carving out a life of your dreams.